Silly (read: Crazy) Thoughts on Traveling

Adam and I are in Chicago for the next few days, and this is the first time we’ve flown without children since our honeymoon. I know, shocking, right? It surprised me too. The past years have been full of traveling in its various forms: me without Adam and kids, Adam without me and kids, me with kids without Adam (definitely NOT my favorite) and lots of whole family traveling. But never just the two of us on a plane…holding hands with the arm rest up, lazily reading and small talking – even ::gasp:: flirting.

There was a thrill to it that I wasn’t expecting (hey….keep your mind PG….:-)) Topics in our conversation were funnier, more interesting, more concerning, more world changing… So, I understand I don’t need to go on and on about the benefits of parents having some time alone together – yadda yadda – but something else happened that I wasn’t expecting: Crazy Thoughts.

As our seatbelts were fastened and we were ready for take-off all these thoughts ran through my mind. “What if something…happens?” “Will my kids be okay?” “Who would I want to take care of them?” “Should I keep my phone out to text them a final moment ‘I love you’?” “Why am I thinking these things?!” “But what about their futures…?” “Which friend, family member, person would I really trust to raise my children?!”

Crazy thoughts. I been through 2 passports and have flown domestically quite a bit and yes I’ve had fleeting “Whoa – I could die…” thoughts (especially that one time In turbulence over the Pacific Ocean) every once in a while. But I’m SERIOUSLY not a paranoid person. People that know me might even say I err on the side of not having enough caution. Yet for the first time in my LIFE I was consumed with thoughts of what would happen to my children if we both were to die in that plane. I realize it’s more dangerous to drive a car and that the chances are more likely to get struck by lightning then to be in a plane that crashes. But I do call New York City my home. It was this very city that was so deeply wounded on September 11, 2001. And it was this city's portion of the Hudson River that became the impromptu landing strip for Flight 1549 on January 15, 2009.  Maybe I’ve become more tentative in my “old” age. (hahahahahhaa….)

There we were – BOTH of us on the same flight. Isn’t it a rule the President and Vice President can’t travel together? (is it? Seriously. I don’t know if it’s a rule or not…) One freak accident and both our girls would be orphans. Crazy thoughts. Thankfully and absolutely Providentially, I’ve been immersed in a world view that comforts me in times of “crazy thoughts”. There is One who cares for my children more than I ever could. The same One who gives me peace when faced with my mortality.

But it doesn’t stop the crazy thoughts from coming. And….thinking about it now – it makes me chuckle. Am I the only one who ever thinks of these kinds of things?

::smiling::  I love being a mother. It brings out the best, worst and craziest parts of me.