Saw this on Facebook the other day - ha ha.
Everyone needs a quick chuckle now and then, right?
Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts
MMs: Golden Moments
Going through my older posts, I'd love to repost some of the ones that really encouraged me and gave me proper perspective on Motherhood. This one is from 2 years ago. I still strive to treasure the Golden Moments:
____________________________________________________________
I have these moments that flash through my mind, usually right before bed time that cause chills to creep up and down my back and tears to well up in my eyes. They are Dark Moments of self-doubt. Moments when I forget that the world doesn't rest on my shoulders and there are Hands that hold my children that are much stronger than mine. The cruel instant-replays of harsh words, bad decisions, and missed opportunities to show love to my children.
And there are Golden Moments. Moments when Elasia's eyes sparkle with mischief, sloppy syrupy hugs after pancake breakfast, playing with Qara's spring-like curls after a bath and the cuddles. Oh the cuddles. Watching Elasia patiently teach her little sister something or Qara run up to me confessing something she broke with big, bright apologetic eyes.
Thankfully the scale tips on the golden side of things most days. ::sigh:: Most.
Here's a peek at one of them from Saturday. We had just come from an early afternoon wedding. We went to cocktail hour with our toddlers and all they had for food was a few chicken nuggets we bought on the walk from the ceremony to the hotel bar where the cocktail hour was being held. Once we got home, I was expecting whiney, over-tired drama. But instead...I got this:
____________________________________________________________
I have these moments that flash through my mind, usually right before bed time that cause chills to creep up and down my back and tears to well up in my eyes. They are Dark Moments of self-doubt. Moments when I forget that the world doesn't rest on my shoulders and there are Hands that hold my children that are much stronger than mine. The cruel instant-replays of harsh words, bad decisions, and missed opportunities to show love to my children.
And there are Golden Moments. Moments when Elasia's eyes sparkle with mischief, sloppy syrupy hugs after pancake breakfast, playing with Qara's spring-like curls after a bath and the cuddles. Oh the cuddles. Watching Elasia patiently teach her little sister something or Qara run up to me confessing something she broke with big, bright apologetic eyes.
Thankfully the scale tips on the golden side of things most days. ::sigh:: Most.
Here's a peek at one of them from Saturday. We had just come from an early afternoon wedding. We went to cocktail hour with our toddlers and all they had for food was a few chicken nuggets we bought on the walk from the ceremony to the hotel bar where the cocktail hour was being held. Once we got home, I was expecting whiney, over-tired drama. But instead...I got this:
A picture is worth a thousands words.
Yes, that is a big ol' bowl of peas that they're ravenously devouring.
No, that is not normal.
Yes, Qara had stripped herself down to only her diaper and the earliest chance she could find.
Yes, that is normal.
We skipped naptime and put them to bed early. And as I sat on the couch after bedtime, with my cup of coffee and "to do" list in front of me, I took a second to be thankful for the Golden Moments. It is proving to be effective ammunition to fight of the sickness in my heart that the Dark ones bring.
Encouragement for my friends
Let's sit on
the metaphorical couch and drink our pretend cup of coffee and discuss things
deep in our heart for a second. Here's what's in mine. It's something I
articulated a long time ago on Facebook, but I've been wanting to shout from
the rooftops lately:
You'd be
surprised how deeply uplifting it is for a mom of young kids to hear SINCERE
encouragement/positive feedback from you. Things like "You are doing an awesome
job" and "They are not going to grow up to be serial killers, I can
tell!" and "You are the perfect mom for these type of kids!"
etc. The"young kids/babies season" is tough on a woman's identity,
marriage, and life in general. One sincere/helpful comment just to let her know
"Everything's gonna be alright, just breathe" can turn a
suffocatingly dark day into a bright, hope-filled one.
So ... dear
friends young and old, married/"partnered", single, and all the other
categories my colorful friends' may include ;-) (and particularly moms of older
children):
You'd be
surprised how deeply uplifting it is for a mom of young kids to hear SINCERE
encouragement/positive feedback from you. Things like "You are doing an awesome
job" and "They are not going to grow up to be serial killers, I can
tell!" and "You are the perfect mom for these type of kids!"
etc. The"young kids/babies season" is tough on a woman's identity,
marriage, and life in general. One sincere/helpful comment just to let her know
"Everything's gonna be alright, just breathe" can turn a
suffocatingly dark day into a bright, hope-filled one.
Your
words can help frame her inadequacies with grace.
Just
sayin'.
What's
in your heart pertaining to motherhood today?
Heavenly Protection
On April 2, 2012 at 8:29 PM Amina Celeste Gahagan was born. Her name means Heavenly protection, safety and refuge.
We are so in love.....
We are so in love.....
Sleepy smiles make my day.
The three sisters!
We found out we were pregnant last year during a very high pressure, stressful, and emotional season in our lives. (Hence the lack of posts too.) Having a constant awareness of a life forming inside of me was my accountability to not internalize stress, take on more than I could handle, and enjoy the process. Her little life protected me from damaging my health because of my martyr tendencies. Her birth was wonderful and even at 1 month old, I find that my obligation to her (simply love, nursing and regular newborn care) is keeping my life "manageable" in what could be another crazy season.
Thank you, God for this heavenly gift of protection.
MMs: How to Feel Miserable as a Mom...
I saw a very clever rePOST on Facebook entitled "How to Feel Miserable as an Artist" and wanted to pass it on to every artist that I know! Then as I thought for a second, I realized how true and SURPRISINGLY similar a quick list for mothers would be. Here's my mother version, barely edited into mother specific terms:
How to Feel Miserable as a Mother
1. Constantly compare yourself to other mothers
2. Talk to your family/friends about what you do and expect them to always cheer you on.
3. Base the success of your entire parenting on one season of your child's life
4. Stick with what you know
5. Undervalue your intuition
6. Let money dictate the quality of your children's lives
7. Bow to societal pressures
8. Only do work that your family will appreciate
9. Do whatever your children ask
10. Set unattainable/overwhelming goals. To be accomplished by tomorrow.
Thank you, whoever wrote the artist list! You get all the credit for this mommy list too.
How to Feel Miserable as a Mother
1. Constantly compare yourself to other mothers
2. Talk to your family/friends about what you do and expect them to always cheer you on.
3. Base the success of your entire parenting on one season of your child's life
4. Stick with what you know
5. Undervalue your intuition
6. Let money dictate the quality of your children's lives
7. Bow to societal pressures
8. Only do work that your family will appreciate
9. Do whatever your children ask
10. Set unattainable/overwhelming goals. To be accomplished by tomorrow.
Thank you, whoever wrote the artist list! You get all the credit for this mommy list too.
Ladybugs at the High Line!
NYC is pretty incredible when it comes to parks. (Understatement of the month. I know.) About a week ago I was able to explore the The High Line with my kiddos, a good friend of mine and her little girls. It wasn't our first time there, but it was special because they were having a Wild Wednesday activity. (There should be theme music everytime anyone says that.) For this particular one, kids were able to learn about ladybugs and get up close and personal with some (read: thousands). Not only could my City Girls get into a bit of nature, but this was going to be their science lesson for the week. Three cheers for homeschooling! Hip hip...HOORAY!!! Hip hip....ahem. Sorry.
Elasia (my 5 year old) LOVES LOVES LOVES ladybugs so as soon as I read about it - it became a date.
Here are a few pics from our adventures:
New York City is full of little treasures like these sort of events. Listen to me...I'm gushing like a tourist. But it's true! 7 years later and I'm still in love with this place.
And I love that my children are growing up here too. :-)
![]()
Elasia (my 5 year old) LOVES LOVES LOVES ladybugs so as soon as I read about it - it became a date.
Here are a few pics from our adventures:
 |
| we were given bags of ladybugs that we could release into the gardens in the High Line park. Very Cool. |
 |
| That's about as close as Qara wanted to get to live ladybugs. And yes, that's her "My mom is crazy, I'm pretending to have fun so she won't make me do more crazy things" smile.) |
 |
| They set up stations where the kids could make "Ladybugs eat aphids" crafts too. |
 |
| Elasia - my little entomologist, saying goodbye to her little ladybug friend |
New York City is full of little treasures like these sort of events. Listen to me...I'm gushing like a tourist. But it's true! 7 years later and I'm still in love with this place.
And I love that my children are growing up here too. :-)
Silly (read: Crazy) Thoughts on Traveling
Adam and I are in Chicago for the next few days, and this is the first time we’ve flown without children since our honeymoon. I know, shocking, right? It surprised me too. The past years have been full of traveling in its various forms: me without Adam and kids, Adam without me and kids, me with kids without Adam (definitely NOT my favorite) and lots of whole family traveling. But never just the two of us on a plane…holding hands with the arm rest up, lazily reading and small talking – even ::gasp:: flirting.
There was a thrill to it that I wasn’t expecting (hey….keep your mind PG….:-)) Topics in our conversation were funnier, more interesting, more concerning, more world changing… So, I understand I don’t need to go on and on about the benefits of parents having some time alone together – yadda yadda – but something else happened that I wasn’t expecting: Crazy Thoughts.
As our seatbelts were fastened and we were ready for take-off all these thoughts ran through my mind. “What if something…happens?” “Will my kids be okay?” “Who would I want to take care of them?” “Should I keep my phone out to text them a final moment ‘I love you’?” “Why am I thinking these things?!” “But what about their futures…?” “Which friend, family member, person would I really trust to raise my children?!”
Crazy thoughts. I been through 2 passports and have flown domestically quite a bit and yes I’ve had fleeting “Whoa – I could die…” thoughts (especially that one time In turbulence over the Pacific Ocean) every once in a while. But I’m SERIOUSLY not a paranoid person. People that know me might even say I err on the side of not having enough caution. Yet for the first time in my LIFE I was consumed with thoughts of what would happen to my children if we both were to die in that plane. I realize it’s more dangerous to drive a car and that the chances are more likely to get struck by lightning then to be in a plane that crashes. But I do call New York City my home. It was this very city that was so deeply wounded on September 11, 2001. And it was this city's portion of the Hudson River that became the impromptu landing strip for Flight 1549 on January 15, 2009. Maybe I’ve become more tentative in my “old” age. (hahahahahhaa….)
There we were – BOTH of us on the same flight. Isn’t it a rule the President and Vice President can’t travel together? (is it? Seriously. I don’t know if it’s a rule or not…) One freak accident and both our girls would be orphans. Crazy thoughts. Thankfully and absolutely Providentially, I’ve been immersed in a world view that comforts me in times of “crazy thoughts”. There is One who cares for my children more than I ever could. The same One who gives me peace when faced with my mortality.
But it doesn’t stop the crazy thoughts from coming. And….thinking about it now – it makes me chuckle. Am I the only one who ever thinks of these kinds of things?
::smiling:: I love being a mother. It brings out the best, worst and craziest parts of me.
There was a thrill to it that I wasn’t expecting (hey….keep your mind PG….:-)) Topics in our conversation were funnier, more interesting, more concerning, more world changing… So, I understand I don’t need to go on and on about the benefits of parents having some time alone together – yadda yadda – but something else happened that I wasn’t expecting: Crazy Thoughts.
As our seatbelts were fastened and we were ready for take-off all these thoughts ran through my mind. “What if something…happens?” “Will my kids be okay?” “Who would I want to take care of them?” “Should I keep my phone out to text them a final moment ‘I love you’?” “Why am I thinking these things?!” “But what about their futures…?” “Which friend, family member, person would I really trust to raise my children?!”
Crazy thoughts. I been through 2 passports and have flown domestically quite a bit and yes I’ve had fleeting “Whoa – I could die…” thoughts (especially that one time In turbulence over the Pacific Ocean) every once in a while. But I’m SERIOUSLY not a paranoid person. People that know me might even say I err on the side of not having enough caution. Yet for the first time in my LIFE I was consumed with thoughts of what would happen to my children if we both were to die in that plane. I realize it’s more dangerous to drive a car and that the chances are more likely to get struck by lightning then to be in a plane that crashes. But I do call New York City my home. It was this very city that was so deeply wounded on September 11, 2001. And it was this city's portion of the Hudson River that became the impromptu landing strip for Flight 1549 on January 15, 2009. Maybe I’ve become more tentative in my “old” age. (hahahahahhaa….)
There we were – BOTH of us on the same flight. Isn’t it a rule the President and Vice President can’t travel together? (is it? Seriously. I don’t know if it’s a rule or not…) One freak accident and both our girls would be orphans. Crazy thoughts. Thankfully and absolutely Providentially, I’ve been immersed in a world view that comforts me in times of “crazy thoughts”. There is One who cares for my children more than I ever could. The same One who gives me peace when faced with my mortality.
But it doesn’t stop the crazy thoughts from coming. And….thinking about it now – it makes me chuckle. Am I the only one who ever thinks of these kinds of things?
::smiling:: I love being a mother. It brings out the best, worst and craziest parts of me.
Chicago bound and Kid-less?!?!
Tomorrow my husband and I are flying to Chicago to attend a conference. (I'll probably blog from there - stay tuned!!!) My gracious (and fabulous) mother in law has flown in from Maine to watch our kiddos for the week. Grown up talk, sleep and ::gasp:: make-up/high heeled shoes!!
Truth: I'm looking forward to it so. much.
Truth: I miss my kids already.
Truth: I'm looking forward to it so. much.
Truth: I miss my kids already.
Cheese Appreciation
I'm typically ambivalent towards "feel good" quotes, but lately - I blame it on the sleep deprivation and shallow content of children's TV - I've been soaking up anything even mildly encouraging in regards to parenting. So please forgive the cheese as I share some of the lastest quotes on parenting that have either made me think, smile or love my "job" again.
Most of these came from a website called "Quote Garden". See, I told you - not for the lactose intolerant. ;-)
"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back". ~William D. Tammeus
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone
"When you have brought up kids, there are memories you store directly in your tear ducts." ~Robert Brault
"Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage." ~Marcelene Cox
"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories." ~John Wilmot
"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge." ~Phyllis Diller
"To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while." ~Josh Billings
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. ~Joyce Maynard
"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. ~Robert Fulghum
"It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be." ~Homer
"It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't." ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
"Children are a great comfort in your old age - and they help you reach it faster, too." ~Lionel Kauffman
"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders." ~Abigail Van Buren
"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." ~Lane Olinghouse
"Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve." ~Roger Lewin
"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings." ~Hodding Carter, Jr.
"Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children." ~Marilyn Penland
"My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time." ~Karen Brown
How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board. It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted. ~Walter Scott
"What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give." ~P.D. James, Time to Be in Earnest
"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others." ~Haim Ginott
"Give me the life of the boy whose mother is nurse, seamstress, washerwoman, cook, teacher, angel, and saint, all in one, and whose father is guide, exemplar, and friend. No servants to come between. These are the boys who are born to the best fortune." ~Andrew Carnegie
"Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it." ~Jean Kerr
"Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected." ~Red Buttons
"Mother Nature is wonderful. Children get too old for piggy-back rides just about the same time they get too heavy for them." ~Author Unknown
"The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent." ~Frank Pittman, Man Enough
Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. ~Dave Barry
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." ~Erma Bombeck
"The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard." ~Sloan Wilson
Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. ~Gloria Steinem, New York Times, 26 August 1971
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it. ~Buddy Hackett
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids. ~Sam Levenson
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. ~P.J. O'Rourke
Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough. ~E.W. Howe
A young lady is a female child who has just done something dreadful. ~Judith Martin
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. ~Author Unknown
Conscience is less an inner voice than the memory of a mother's glance. ~Robert Brault,
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry. ~Bill Cosby
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. ~Fran Lebowitz, "Parental Guidance," Social Studies, 1981
A child, like your stomach, doesn't need all you can afford to give it. ~Frank A. Clark
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time. ~P.J. O'Rourke
In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage. ~Bill Cosby, Fatherhood, 1986
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. ~Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies
The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed. ~Author Unknown
You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once. ~Polish Proverb
Most of these came from a website called "Quote Garden". See, I told you - not for the lactose intolerant. ;-)
"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back". ~William D. Tammeus
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone
"When you have brought up kids, there are memories you store directly in your tear ducts." ~Robert Brault
"Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage." ~Marcelene Cox
"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories." ~John Wilmot
"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge." ~Phyllis Diller
"To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while." ~Josh Billings
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. ~Joyce Maynard
"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. ~Robert Fulghum
"It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be." ~Homer
"It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't." ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
"Children are a great comfort in your old age - and they help you reach it faster, too." ~Lionel Kauffman
"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders." ~Abigail Van Buren
"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." ~Lane Olinghouse
"Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve." ~Roger Lewin
"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings." ~Hodding Carter, Jr.
"Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children." ~Marilyn Penland
"My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time." ~Karen Brown
How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board. It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted. ~Walter Scott
"What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give." ~P.D. James, Time to Be in Earnest
"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others." ~Haim Ginott
"Give me the life of the boy whose mother is nurse, seamstress, washerwoman, cook, teacher, angel, and saint, all in one, and whose father is guide, exemplar, and friend. No servants to come between. These are the boys who are born to the best fortune." ~Andrew Carnegie
"Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it." ~Jean Kerr
"Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected." ~Red Buttons
"Mother Nature is wonderful. Children get too old for piggy-back rides just about the same time they get too heavy for them." ~Author Unknown
"The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent." ~Frank Pittman, Man Enough
Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. ~Dave Barry
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." ~Erma Bombeck
"The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard." ~Sloan Wilson
Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. ~Gloria Steinem, New York Times, 26 August 1971
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it. ~Buddy Hackett
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids. ~Sam Levenson
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. ~P.J. O'Rourke
Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough. ~E.W. Howe
A young lady is a female child who has just done something dreadful. ~Judith Martin
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. ~Author Unknown
Conscience is less an inner voice than the memory of a mother's glance. ~Robert Brault,
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry. ~Bill Cosby
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. ~Fran Lebowitz, "Parental Guidance," Social Studies, 1981
A child, like your stomach, doesn't need all you can afford to give it. ~Frank A. Clark
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time. ~P.J. O'Rourke
In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage. ~Bill Cosby, Fatherhood, 1986
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. ~Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies
The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed. ~Author Unknown
You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once. ~Polish Proverb
In the aftermath of a 5 year old's birthday party....
Although Tuesday, March 22nd was Elasia's actual birthday, we had invited all of her "little kid friends" to a Dinosaur/Heart themed Birthday Extravaganza. (Yes dinos and hearts - so. very. Elasia). (side note: Elasia has lots of "grown-up friends" that she adores and wanted to party with too, even though they don't have children of their own. So we had them over for dinner on Tuesday night.)
The kid party was a huge success. We had some private space at a chain restaurant and the kids got to: make their own pizzas (chefs' hats and everything!), eat an inordinate amount of sugar in various forms and narrowly avoid death by piñata stick. (more pics to come! That is, once I can whittle down the album to a sane number to share online and figure out how to get it all on a slide show in a post rather than in the sidebar)
There are newly opened toys scattered throughout our apartment, with all their wrappings and plastic and cardboard and twisty-ties littering our floor like confetti. There are slightly deflating heart-shaped helium balloons - floating like suspended animation art- in our bedroom. There are leftover dinosaur favor bags hidden through our place like Easter eggs. And I'm not actually sure where that last cupcake went....hmmm. Maybe we'll find it petrified under our couch next week sometime.
And there is a happy 5 year old, soundly asleep in her bed and a tired but satisfied mommy, deliriously blogging on the couch in the living room.
I used to judge, misunderstand, or just plain ignore moms who throw "themed" parties. I used to see it as an unhealthy extravagance in the light of world poverty...yadda yadda yadda. I was just ridiculously ignorant like that. But now ... I understand. I know what it's like to love a child so deeply you would give your right arm to make every birthday wish come true. I know what it's like to look at the limited resources you have available and figure out a way to make something spectacular within your means - to stay up late making the decorations by hand (because it's cheaper AND because even in New York City it's tough to come by heart-shaped dinosaur decorations).
I still value minimalism in my kids expectations. I still stress that they should be grateful for anything they get in the birthday category. (Seriously - anything.) So far it's going well. But I also know from first-hand experience what it feels like to overhear your daughter telling her friend, "I really like hearts AND I like dinosaurs. Did you know that a brachiosaurus was a herbivore and that the T-Rex was...." and then feeling like my goal for the next month was to somehow fill her world with hearts of every color and dinosaurs. I look at her smile and I feel it. I'd move mountains for that little girl. Just 'cause.
It was totally worth it.
The kid party was a huge success. We had some private space at a chain restaurant and the kids got to: make their own pizzas (chefs' hats and everything!), eat an inordinate amount of sugar in various forms and narrowly avoid death by piñata stick. (more We surfed our way through the chaos fun times of Saturday, pushed through a full-scheduled Sunday and now I find myself in ....The Post Child's Birthday Party Zone ::cue creepy music::.
There are newly opened toys scattered throughout our apartment, with all their wrappings and plastic and cardboard and twisty-ties littering our floor like confetti. There are slightly deflating heart-shaped helium balloons - floating like suspended animation art- in our bedroom. There are leftover dinosaur favor bags hidden through our place like Easter eggs. And I'm not actually sure where that last cupcake went....hmmm. Maybe we'll find it petrified under our couch next week sometime.
And there is a happy 5 year old, soundly asleep in her bed and a tired but satisfied mommy, deliriously blogging on the couch in the living room.
I still value minimalism in my kids expectations. I still stress that they should be grateful for anything they get in the birthday category. (Seriously - anything.) So far it's going well. But I also know from first-hand experience what it feels like to overhear your daughter telling her friend, "I really like hearts AND I like dinosaurs. Did you know that a brachiosaurus was a herbivore and that the T-Rex was...." and then feeling like my goal for the next month was to somehow fill her world with hearts of every color and dinosaurs. I look at her smile and I feel it. I'd move mountains for that little girl. Just 'cause.But yeah, I'm wiped. And I probably over-committed/over-extended/over-spent myself this weekend. But to the nagging little judging voice in my head - I say - she's only 5 once. And I'm smiling as I put my feet up and watching Iron Chef tonight.
It was totally worth it.
Motherhood Mondays: Tomorrow's the day!!
You know - people say "Enjoy those early years...it flies by so quickly..." but I kinda disagree. The first few years of this adventure called Motherhood seemed to drag on and on and on. I feel like I aged 10 years for every week my baby grew. On a micro-level, I adore my children. On a macro-level, I'm STILL trying to figure out what "mothering" entails.
Tomorrow is a HUGE day. Tomorrow morning our living room will be filled with pink balloons and streamers will be hanging from the ceiling. We'll have a cupcake for breakfast and spend most of the day celebrating our fabulous birthday girl.
I remember that first year, feeling swallowed alive by this new role in life - 5 years old seemed so far away! And here it is. Here she is. Such a work of art. Such a gift from God. A reminder daily, in our crazy lives, that - as her name means - God is the God of Hope
I'm so excited.......
We made it, my precious Bee-Do!! We made it to 5yrs old!!!
love you muchly,
your momma
Tomorrow is a HUGE day. Tomorrow morning our living room will be filled with pink balloons and streamers will be hanging from the ceiling. We'll have a cupcake for breakfast and spend most of the day celebrating our fabulous birthday girl.
Elasia Hope will be 5!!!!
I remember that first year, feeling swallowed alive by this new role in life - 5 years old seemed so far away! And here it is. Here she is. Such a work of art. Such a gift from God. A reminder daily, in our crazy lives, that - as her name means - God is the God of Hope
I'm so excited.......
from this:
to this:
We made it, my precious Bee-Do!! We made it to 5yrs old!!!
love you muchly,
your momma
Courage and my 4 year old
(Mandatory yet unrelated update: we think I have Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome. Boo Hiss. Might be more on that in a future post. Maybe not though. We'll see.;-) )
Every summer and family vacation...well, any chance we can get...our family gets in the water. We also feel that "real" swimming is a valuable gift to give to our children, not to mention a HUGE safety issue. Elasia is old enough (turning 5 in a few weeks) and we found a class that was 8 sessions long with an opening down on 14th street at a very nice YMCA and took the jump financially.
I watched from the nearby giant window. The whole class lined up by the side of the pool. It was then I realized that the odds were stacked against Elasia being able to get through this class with out a royal "freak out".
1. Everyone was older than her.
2. Everyone had taken swim classes together last season at this same YMCA and knew each other. Elasia didn't know any of them and this was the first time she stepped foot in this building.
2. She was the only girl.
3. The kind lady she thought was the instructor went into the office. A man she didn't know jumped in the pool and motioned for the children to get into the pool one at a time.
I saw her legs tremble. I saw her wring her hands. She looked up, bottom lip trembling, to where she knew I was watching, looking for some kind of reassurance from me. I waved, gave her a thumbs up and a smile. (Truth: it took EVERYTHING in me to not crash through that glass, run across the pool deck and scoop my little girl in my arms and tell her we'll wait 'til next year.) I had to steel myself and see what she would choose.
And then it happened. She took a deep breath, knees still knocking, wrinkled her little nose with determination and willed her body to sit at the edge of the pool. Every other kid slid right into the pool, as if they had the process memorized. They held on to the side of the pool and started kicking.
With the other moms and their "been there, done that" expressions, I knew I couldn't really just scream with joy right there. But I really could've flown to the moon and back!! I had just watched one of the most courageous people I've ever known make a really brave choice!!! I know my little girl. I know what situations are difficult for her, and those same situations might not even be an issue for her little sister - or even anyone else.
Because of things we couldn't have known or foreseen, this swim class was set up to be one of the single most difficult things for Elasia specifically. And she was brave. She chose to look her fear, her discomfort, her insecurity...all of it in the face...and she chose to go through with it.
Now, would it have been okay if she had a melt down at the side of the pool, crumpled up in sobs and I had to sit with her in the lounge until she calmed down. Yes. (because she IS only 4, people.) I would've been set back a large chunk of change, as the classes are non-refundable, but I wouldn't set my daughter up for unnecessary torture. And of course, I wouldn't have shamed her. I would have been disappointed, but I'd have understood. I know life is going to present so many more of these same moments. I honestly would have been okay with "no way, Mommy" on this one.
But she chose to be brave. And her little determined, tear-streaked face is etched in my memory as a permanent book mark...a reminder.... for me to make similar choices.
When I'm tired and frustrated and it is easier to scream, yell and demean my children - I must choose to be brave, and be their hero. To lay down my own emotions to help them through the tricky paths of childhood.
When I'm intimidated by potential for failure, I've got to choose to be brave and take risks.
Every summer and family vacation...well, any chance we can get...our family gets in the water. We also feel that "real" swimming is a valuable gift to give to our children, not to mention a HUGE safety issue. Elasia is old enough (turning 5 in a few weeks) and we found a class that was 8 sessions long with an opening down on 14th street at a very nice YMCA and took the jump financially.
And that's how Elasia began swim classes.
This was her first time taking "real" classes. She qualified for the class where I don't have to get in the pool with her (which was wonderful, because what would I have done with my little monkey a.k.a. Zaqarah? I'm sure the YMCA staff would've had to call 911 within the first 10 minutes of class because she had managed to slip away and gotten herself stuck on the roof. I'm sure of it.) Elasia is very cautious by nature, and has never been in a pool with out us. I was pretty apprehensive leaving my little scrawny green bean alone with a handful of kids and 1 instructor.
I watched from the nearby giant window. The whole class lined up by the side of the pool. It was then I realized that the odds were stacked against Elasia being able to get through this class with out a royal "freak out".
1. Everyone was older than her.
2. Everyone had taken swim classes together last season at this same YMCA and knew each other. Elasia didn't know any of them and this was the first time she stepped foot in this building.
2. She was the only girl.
3. The kind lady she thought was the instructor went into the office. A man she didn't know jumped in the pool and motioned for the children to get into the pool one at a time.
I saw her legs tremble. I saw her wring her hands. She looked up, bottom lip trembling, to where she knew I was watching, looking for some kind of reassurance from me. I waved, gave her a thumbs up and a smile. (Truth: it took EVERYTHING in me to not crash through that glass, run across the pool deck and scoop my little girl in my arms and tell her we'll wait 'til next year.) I had to steel myself and see what she would choose.
And then it happened. She took a deep breath, knees still knocking, wrinkled her little nose with determination and willed her body to sit at the edge of the pool. Every other kid slid right into the pool, as if they had the process memorized. They held on to the side of the pool and started kicking.
I watched her wipe a tear that had snuck out of her eyes and down her cheek. Her nose still wrinkled in resolve, she looked up again and smiled at me. (smiled?! I still can't believe it.)
She tentatively slid into the pool and held on to the side and....... began her kicking.
With the other moms and their "been there, done that" expressions, I knew I couldn't really just scream with joy right there. But I really could've flown to the moon and back!! I had just watched one of the most courageous people I've ever known make a really brave choice!!! I know my little girl. I know what situations are difficult for her, and those same situations might not even be an issue for her little sister - or even anyone else.
Because of things we couldn't have known or foreseen, this swim class was set up to be one of the single most difficult things for Elasia specifically. And she was brave. She chose to look her fear, her discomfort, her insecurity...all of it in the face...and she chose to go through with it.
Now, would it have been okay if she had a melt down at the side of the pool, crumpled up in sobs and I had to sit with her in the lounge until she calmed down. Yes. (because she IS only 4, people.) I would've been set back a large chunk of change, as the classes are non-refundable, but I wouldn't set my daughter up for unnecessary torture. And of course, I wouldn't have shamed her. I would have been disappointed, but I'd have understood. I know life is going to present so many more of these same moments. I honestly would have been okay with "no way, Mommy" on this one.
But she chose to be brave. And her little determined, tear-streaked face is etched in my memory as a permanent book mark...a reminder.... for me to make similar choices.
When I'm tired and frustrated and it is easier to scream, yell and demean my children - I must choose to be brave, and be their hero. To lay down my own emotions to help them through the tricky paths of childhood.
When I'm intimidated by potential for failure, I've got to choose to be brave and take risks.
When I'm afraid of the consequences that my choices may have on the relationships I hold so dear, I need to be brave, to choose honesty and transparency - to live with integrity, as this is the only way to true intimacy.
I learn so much from my precious Elasia Hope. From her sensitivity to others feelings, her care for the overlooked, her quick wit and intelligence...my list could be a mile long. (And she's only turning 5!) But what I needed and what I've learned from her these past few weeks going to swim class is:
It's possible to choose courage, even if you don't "feel" it. (and if you cry when your scared, it's okay.)
Motherhood Mondays: On being a nostalgic mommy
Forgive me, I'm really not trying to be corny. Reality is, I'm profoundly grateful for the life I have right now and I am most definitely looking forward to the years to come. So I can't help feeling the twinge of guilt when I catch myself longing for "yesterday". It makes me laugh, too....I know. I JUST turned 30. I don't have many "yesterdays" to my credit. But in my defense, I see this in my daughter Elasia too. She's only 4 and she already keeps a "treasure box" where she puts sentimental things that are important to her - so she can look at them whenever she wants and ....remember.
This beautiful painting by Mirjana Gotovac and a handy definition.
nos·tal·gi·a
n.
1. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.
2. The condition of being homesick; homesickness.
"Bittersweet". Yep. I agree. Bitter = we can't recreate those memories and, besides, they're probably glossed over and exaggerated a bit in our flawed mind's retelling of the story. But that longing, that homesickness is sweet too. Nostalgia almost always brings a smile to my face. And I think it's playing a critical role in my ability to "mother".
Life can seem so overwhelming to me sometimes. Motherhood can tend to require EVERYTHING that I'm not good at - all at the same time. Every. day. And I don't have the mental fortitude to "leave it all at the job" most days. If I screw up, I'm acutely aware that little lives are affected.
Nostalgia comes to the rescue. Like a tiny cheerleader (but less annoying) inside my brain I hear, "Remember the sunlight hitting on Elasia's face when they were happily playing in the garden?!" "Remember that vulnerable little newborn cuddle-bug that you named Zaqarah?!" "Remember how much fun you had as a kid just 'playing' with no developmentally appropriate stimuli forced on you?!"
yes. I remember. And I can do this.
Whenever I feel nostalgic I like to look through pictures. It's entirely self-indulgent, but why do anything halfway, right? :-) I'll spare you the family slide shows - but I can't wait to go through quite a few later, after I put these kids to bed. Beside the obvious "remember when my kids did..." memories, random memories help keep my life in perspective. Pictures of my favorite spots in NYC, the bike I learned to ride when I was little, beautiful people I've had the privilege of knowing....When I'm drowning in the sea of mommyness, these things frame my current story. And they provide a pretty riveting plot that my kids get to be a part of too. (Does that make sense? And I'm getting too artsy-fartsy? Sorry. I blame this whole entire entry on Dr. Masaiah, D.D.S.)
It's good to feel alive and "in the moment" and yet nostalgic. Hm...I think that anesthesia is wearing off. Time to go pop some Advil and lay down. I'll leave you with few memories that are bringing smiles (crooked, half numb smiles) to my face today.
This is a beautiful, crowded and dusty bookstore in the Upper Westside. Stores like this give me a sense of adventure. (I've always been a bookworm, though). And the anonymous person's rear-end is added comedic relief.
This beautiful lady was once a well-know ballerina here in NYC. She now lives in a nursing home, but is still so gracious in her movements and a great lunch date.
my "regular" subway stop by Rockefeller Center when I used to teach ESL
love these girls...
and I love laughing and living life with this man.
(we were trying to bulge out our biceps to make it look like we were buff.)
I'm grateful for memories. They get me through difficult days and put an extra bounce in my step during the good days.
Happy Monday, fellow Mommies.
What IS it about a hug...?
This little interaction just happened this morning -
Elasia (my 4 yr old DD): Mom, you're the comfiest mommy.
Me: (trying to be absolutely secure and love my chub...) Thanks, baby - but you can't stay laying on my lap too much longer - I've got to go to the bathroom.
Elasia: Ok. Just keeping hugging me until I say stop.
Me: Ok (hugging her tightly for ... a while...)
Elasia: Ok, stop. (she happily runs off)
I come from a very affectionate family. A very LOUD and affectionate family. :-) It definitely WASN'T "Leave it to Beaver" (like my husband's family) but I did grow up being able to cuddle with my parents on Saturday mornings. I was able to stand in the kitchen getting sandwiched between the two of them in great big hugs.
Then there were those awkward teenage years when no one biologically related to me was allowed to touch me without getting MUCH attitude. Phew - glad I made it out of that stage alive.
Now-a-days, my husband usually knows that one of the ways I communicate is through physical touch. Some days are so busy that when he walks through the door at the end of a long work day, he's usually walking into another pile of "to do's" and responsibilities as a pastor. We'll zoom through dinner and he'll help me put themonkeys children to bed. It'll be going on 9:00 PM and then he'll see it. The "look".
Okay - I'm a Puerto Rican woman. I have MANY "looks". But he knows this one. It sort of like a distant, hard to focus on what's in front of me, feeling scattered look.
It may/may not be accompanied by a pouting lip. (because I'm not about to portray myself publicly as that silly)
And he'll walk up to me, maybe give me a kiss, but more importantly give me a big hug.
Disturbing Reality: 1 in 4 girls in the U.S. are sexually abused before the age of 18, so that increases the chances that it's going to be difficult to read a friendly post on human affection for a chunk of ladies that might be reading this. I understand. Trust me, I understand.
But I crave...no NEED...physical touch to thrive. It's a basic necessity of the human race. There are orphanages in Eastern Europe where the lack of human touch is causing real health problems in children from poor vision to low muscle tone and even things more serious.
I may not know all the science behind it (although - I CAN google it. Mothers all over the world thank you, Eric Schmidt - ha ha), but I do know there are times when my toddlers seem just NUTS - and I'm sure they are not hungry or tired - something magical happens when I simply hug them.
A hug. No strings attached. No ulterior motive. It can be such a breath of fresh air at the right time. Sometimes we've got to shake the "junior-high" awkwardness that may still linger in our demeanor and offer a hug to someone in our lives that might need it. Or simply receive one.
Please don't misread me. I'm not "touchy". I just appreciate healthy touch. I was NEVER one of those girls who let people "play with my hair" in the dorms, and so help me - I will still not sit on anyone's lap - man or woman. I have friends like that. I'm not like that. My friends know this.
I know I've got some great and challenging years ahead of me. I'm assuming that my very affectionate children are going to go through those "don't touch me" teenage years. My husband will not always know through his super-human husbanding skills the precise moment I need a hug. But I'm in charge of me. I want to be more liberal with my hugs, and allow myself to receive them more frequently.
Enjoy the video.
Elasia (my 4 yr old DD): Mom, you're the comfiest mommy.
Me: (trying to be absolutely secure and love my chub...) Thanks, baby - but you can't stay laying on my lap too much longer - I've got to go to the bathroom.
Elasia: Ok. Just keeping hugging me until I say stop.
Me: Ok (hugging her tightly for ... a while...)
Elasia: Ok, stop. (she happily runs off)
I come from a very affectionate family. A very LOUD and affectionate family. :-) It definitely WASN'T "Leave it to Beaver" (like my husband's family) but I did grow up being able to cuddle with my parents on Saturday mornings. I was able to stand in the kitchen getting sandwiched between the two of them in great big hugs.
Now-a-days, my husband usually knows that one of the ways I communicate is through physical touch. Some days are so busy that when he walks through the door at the end of a long work day, he's usually walking into another pile of "to do's" and responsibilities as a pastor. We'll zoom through dinner and he'll help me put the
Okay - I'm a Puerto Rican woman. I have MANY "looks". But he knows this one. It sort of like a distant, hard to focus on what's in front of me, feeling scattered look.
It may/may not be accompanied by a pouting lip. (because I'm not about to portray myself publicly as that silly)
And he'll walk up to me, maybe give me a kiss, but more importantly give me a big hug.
Disturbing Reality: 1 in 4 girls in the U.S. are sexually abused before the age of 18, so that increases the chances that it's going to be difficult to read a friendly post on human affection for a chunk of ladies that might be reading this. I understand. Trust me, I understand.
But I crave...no NEED...physical touch to thrive. It's a basic necessity of the human race. There are orphanages in Eastern Europe where the lack of human touch is causing real health problems in children from poor vision to low muscle tone and even things more serious.
I may not know all the science behind it (although - I CAN google it. Mothers all over the world thank you, Eric Schmidt - ha ha), but I do know there are times when my toddlers seem just NUTS - and I'm sure they are not hungry or tired - something magical happens when I simply hug them.
A hug. No strings attached. No ulterior motive. It can be such a breath of fresh air at the right time. Sometimes we've got to shake the "junior-high" awkwardness that may still linger in our demeanor and offer a hug to someone in our lives that might need it. Or simply receive one.
Please don't misread me. I'm not "touchy". I just appreciate healthy touch. I was NEVER one of those girls who let people "play with my hair" in the dorms, and so help me - I will still not sit on anyone's lap - man or woman. I have friends like that. I'm not like that. My friends know this.
I know I've got some great and challenging years ahead of me. I'm assuming that my very affectionate children are going to go through those "don't touch me" teenage years. My husband will not always know through his super-human husbanding skills the precise moment I need a hug. But I'm in charge of me. I want to be more liberal with my hugs, and allow myself to receive them more frequently.
Enjoy the video.
Just LAUGH!
My momma always taught us to "Laugh a lot. It's free and good for you." My husband knows the quickest way to my heart is humor. My closest friends can tell you that even though I dole out smiles and laughter generously, I'm not being insincere. I've just got a BROAD range of what I define as funny. And I love to laugh. If it's remotely funny - I'm laughing. Big belly laughs are my favorite. Closely followed by those deliriously silly I-know-it's-just-'cause-I'm-EXHAUSTED-that-this-is-so-funny-I'm-crying ones. (But those are harder to get)
Confession: I don't have the most quiet laugh either. When I was younger and would spend the night at my friend Juliette's house, we would ALWAYS get in trouble for being up too late. While she would be giggling quietly at something funny, I was trying to muffle my donkey-like ga-faws with a pillow - but it was no use. Man, did we get chewed out. ::good times, good times::
So I thought I'd share some things I rely on for a good laugh or even just a sincere smile when life is just too lame to breathe.
"A joyful heart is good medicine..." So (lift up your glass of something delicious...right now my imaginary drink of choice it a Thai chile-cilantro martini...yum)...here's crow's feet around our eyes!
Enjoy:
(fair warning: some of this stuff is HYSTERICAL, some just so-so, some may have ::gasp:: potty mouth words, etc. Look on at your own non-judgemental leisure.)
Some links:
For the quirky Emo-types - so witty and funny:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
He's brilliant and very VERY funny:
http://www.colbertnation.com/home
(ha ha. I had to put the one with flowers and a kitten. Because it's awesome.)
(The links could go on and on...so let's move on to videos)
I LOVE karaoke. Especially Asian karaoke. (I ::heart:: Asia.) Especially this karaoke of Carrie Underwood's Jesus Take the Wheel.
Also - I have a soft spot in my heart for Taylor Swift. YIKES. I just said that out loud. Oh well. It's out there now. So enjoy this funny one.
Cute kid. Priceless moment caught on tape!
This is a friend of mine who ALWAYS brings a smile to my face. And if you are or have a friend/loved one who is Filipino - you're gonna LOVE her too. This is just a taste (she's all the characters AND does the editing herself!) Subscribe to her on Youtube and check out her website!
What are some of your favorite things to watch/read when you need a good chuckle?
Confession: I don't have the most quiet laugh either. When I was younger and would spend the night at my friend Juliette's house, we would ALWAYS get in trouble for being up too late. While she would be giggling quietly at something funny, I was trying to muffle my donkey-like ga-faws with a pillow - but it was no use. Man, did we get chewed out. ::good times, good times::
So I thought I'd share some things I rely on for a good laugh or even just a sincere smile when life is just too lame to breathe.
"A joyful heart is good medicine..." So (lift up your glass of something delicious...right now my imaginary drink of choice it a Thai chile-cilantro martini...yum)...here's crow's feet around our eyes!
Enjoy:
(fair warning: some of this stuff is HYSTERICAL, some just so-so, some may have ::gasp:: potty mouth words, etc. Look on at your own non-judgemental leisure.)
Some links:
For the quirky Emo-types - so witty and funny:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
He's brilliant and very VERY funny:
http://www.colbertnation.com/home
(ha ha. I had to put the one with flowers and a kitten. Because it's awesome.)
(The links could go on and on...so let's move on to videos)
I LOVE karaoke. Especially Asian karaoke. (I ::heart:: Asia.) Especially this karaoke of Carrie Underwood's Jesus Take the Wheel.
Also - I have a soft spot in my heart for Taylor Swift. YIKES. I just said that out loud. Oh well. It's out there now. So enjoy this funny one.
Cute kid. Priceless moment caught on tape!
This is a friend of mine who ALWAYS brings a smile to my face. And if you are or have a friend/loved one who is Filipino - you're gonna LOVE her too. This is just a taste (she's all the characters AND does the editing herself!) Subscribe to her on Youtube and check out her website!
What are some of your favorite things to watch/read when you need a good chuckle?
MMs: Chicken Soup, Mothering and Perspective
Motherhood Monday's reflection:
Yesterday was Mother's Day and it was the first one that I've had that I actually just wanted to BE with my kids, rather than get a break from them (perspective: I've only had 4 Mother's Days). I'm telling you, this ooey-gooey mommy stuff doesn't come naturally to me. But then again...maybe it does.
See, someone once told me that I was created to "mother". My reaction then (as a single, don't-want-to-get-married, I'm-going-to-die-in-a-3rd-world-country-changing-the-world 19 year old) was to roll my eyes. But now, I'm starting believe them. Like really, deep down in my gut believe them. Before we get all feminist/don't-you-dare-put-me-in-a-box-I-am-LIBERATED in our reactions....let me 'splain. (did you hear my Cuban accent there?...no? Okay, sorry.)
I had a great dad, but what I want to focus on is that I - in all earnestness - was "mothered" well. Here's the kicker: not just by my biological mom, as great as she is. I was "mothered" by my sister who is 12 years older than me. I was "mothered" by my best friend's mom who would always take me in whenever I got into a fight with my parents during those tumultuous teenage years. I was "mothered" by that sweet pastor's wife who helped me navigate the new world of my faith in the 90's.
I'm still being mothered...even as I am feeling awkward learning how to raise these two little girls that call me "Mommy".
Yesterday was Mother's Day and it was the first one that I've had that I actually just wanted to BE with my kids, rather than get a break from them (perspective: I've only had 4 Mother's Days). I'm telling you, this ooey-gooey mommy stuff doesn't come naturally to me. But then again...maybe it does.
I had a great dad, but what I want to focus on is that I - in all earnestness - was "mothered" well. Here's the kicker: not just by my biological mom, as great as she is. I was "mothered" by my sister who is 12 years older than me. I was "mothered" by my best friend's mom who would always take me in whenever I got into a fight with my parents during those tumultuous teenage years. I was "mothered" by that sweet pastor's wife who helped me navigate the new world of my faith in the 90's.
I'm still being mothered...even as I am feeling awkward learning how to raise these two little girls that call me "Mommy".
Looking back on my short stint in adulthood, I've realized I have actually been mothering for longer than I have had children. It just comes out - I don't think we do it on purpose. (how weird and insincere would that be - gross.) I think it's a shame when women in our communities go against that impulse and squash the potential they have in them to love, care for, help guide and celebrate the people around them. It's not a checklist thing to do. God knows I HATE that whole condemning idea! It's something that if I just allow to happen, it blossoms like a beautiful flower that would make the Macy's flower show jealous.
It's a beautiful gift, this ability to "mother". I have a tendency to analyse myself and I've realized that my "mothering" gears are turning when I offer someone chicken soup. Cliche'?...yeah, a little. But before I can even think about something else more creative/original to say, the words are coming out of my mouth, "Can I make you some chicken soup? Do you want to just lay on my couch and rest?...are you okay with my home being a wreck right now?"
It's the same, very sincere, schpeel I give to all of the people I love when I know they are hurting or feeling lonely, or just need some lovin'. Just today a friend of mine text me, saying she had gotten a head injury at work and needed some staples (ouch!). She was waiting in the ER alone. I looked at my clingy, whiney toddlers and pictured what chaos they could cause in an over-crowded NYC emergency room, and laughed at how entertaining that could be for my friend. So I texted her back, "Which hosp.? We'll be right over! Want me to bring some soup?" Now, is this because I have a "super-hero" complex? no. (puh-leeeease.) Is it because I'm a "nice" person. (...don't I WISH. ha.) It's simply that instinct that is deep down inside all of us - all we have to do is let it out.
I didn't end up going to the hospital, but my friend did come over afterwards. We laughed and talked and lounged around watching Dancing with the Stars. Our bellies were full of homemade chicken and black bean soup.
We have opportunities all around us to "mother" - to make the world more rich, healthy, and complete. We can't let "Mother's Day" be only about people with biological children (although we ALL know they deserve some hefty accolades and ...well at least a lifetime supply of Moose Tracks ice cream.) Women that are mothering, single/married/those with biological kids or not - you make this planet a beautiful place to live in.
Thank you for letting your gift out for others to be nourished by it.
Enjoy the somewhat related video from an organization near and dear to my heart:
Motherhood Mondays
Series help me stay consistent. Sometimes when life is so beautiful...so intricate... and so REAL it's difficult for me to grab a thought or two and articulate it in a "blog". So this is my first attempt at a series - we'll call it Motherhood Mondays. I'm a mother of two hilarious, enigmatic, tender-hearted, passionate and breathtaking little girls (Elasia, 4 and Zaqarah 2 1/2) but I don't want the whole blog to be about that part of life necessarily -hence the specific day.
Plus - Mother's Day is THIS Sunday (you're welcome for the reminder - ha ha.) So with that, hopefully your kids are asleep by now, and if you don't have any - pull out a picture of your mom. Sip that cup of coffee/tea that's made just-the-way-you-like-it. Sit in your favorite comfy spot with your Mac/PC on your lap and enjoy this heartfelt tribute to mothers. Let it speak right to your heart and remind you of how special you/they are. Enjoy!
much love from our little apartment just north of Harlem!
Plus - Mother's Day is THIS Sunday (you're welcome for the reminder - ha ha.) So with that, hopefully your kids are asleep by now, and if you don't have any - pull out a picture of your mom. Sip that cup of coffee/tea that's made just-the-way-you-like-it. Sit in your favorite comfy spot with your Mac/PC on your lap and enjoy this heartfelt tribute to mothers. Let it speak right to your heart and remind you of how special you/they are. Enjoy!
much love from our little apartment just north of Harlem!
